The Hardest Thing
by Marissa-Xtreme SelDem Fan
Summary: Set after Season 2 Finale. Nathan took Haley back and Brooke decided to give Lucas another chance. What happens when they all find themselves in another love triangle? I suck at summaries, but please read!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** Hey guys! Okay, for some reason, I have this disease where I can't not have a Laley story on the boards. It's just impossible and detrimental to my health. So here I am with another Laley story. This is going to be a short story, not sure how many chapters it's going to be, but I have to make it short because I don't really have a lot of time to write except for weekends and when there's nothing to do at work. I'm not sure how often I will update this; it all depends on my schedule and inspiration. Anyways, I hope you all like it. As always, please read and review!

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. One Tree Hill and its characters are property of the WB.

**Rating:** K+ to T, R for this chapter.

**A little background:** This story is set a little after the season two finale. Nathan and Haley stayed married and Brooke came back from California saying she wanted to be with him and are now dating. I think that's all you really need to know right now. Story based on the song by 98 Degrees, "The Hardest Thing".

**The Hardest Thing **

**Chapter 1 **

_We both know that I shouldn't be here  
This is wrong  
And baby it's killing me, it's killing you  
Both of us trying to be strong _

_  
_The second my hand hit the door to knock, she opened it and pulled me inside, slamming the door shut then pushing me up against it, her lips crashing against mine. "What took you so long," she whispered as she moved her lips down to my neck, beginning to suck the sensitive skin softly so as not to leave a mark. I moaned and rolled my head back and to the side to give her better access. My lips sought her forehead then her own lips, kissing her passionately before moving to her neck to return the favor she had done for me. "We shouldn't be doing this…" I whispered, my breath hot on her neck. "But it feels so right…" she murmured as she moved her hands down, starting to unbutton my shirt as her lips found mine again. Her tongue slipped inside and explored all the crevices of my mouth as if she would never have the chance to again before mingling with my own, massaging hers against mine and licking it with the tip of her tongue. I groaned in disappointment when she pulled away to take off my shirt and white wife beater I wore underneath. She began a trail of kisses down my chest, starting at the column of my neck just under my chin where my Adam's Apple was, a place she knew drove me crazy. I swallowed hard as she began to lick slowly there before covering the spot with her mouth, starting to suck softly at the hard mound under my skin. I felt myself begin to go weak in the knees and I leaned heavily back against the wall as she moved down to my chest, rubbing her lips across my muscles then flicking her tongue against one nipple then the other. I gasped and began to pant as her mouth encircled one of them and bit down softly, causing pleasure to course through my body. She performed the same treatment on the other one then moved down to my abs, running her hands over my toned six-pack. "Nathan could come home any minute," I whispered breathlessly into her hair as my lips grazed her ear. She pulled away slightly from my chest and grinned up at me, lust and desire burning in her eyes as she responded in a low, husky voice, "Isn't that part of the thrill?" She tugged on the waistband of my jeans, pulling me with her as she led me down the hallway and into the bedroom.

One of the first things I noticed when we entered the bedroom was the flowery sheets on the bed. I knew that Haley only used them for when I came over because Nathan hated them. He thought they were too girly. I was brought out of my thoughts by Haley's hands tugging at the button of my jeans. I stared down at her and for the first time that day, really got a good look at her. She was wearing a pale pink silk lingerie nightgown that fell just above her knees with a feathery boa around the hemline of it. It wasn't something I, nor anyone else besides Nathan, would ever imagine her wearing. She was beautiful and sexy, and I loved her with all my heart. I suddenly began to wonder how I got here, how this had all started. I knew what I was, what we both, were doing was wrong. Haley was married to Nathan, my brother, and I was dating Brooke. I was so happy Brooke had decided to give me a second chance after the whole love triangle with Peyton, decided to trust me again. It broke my heart knowing that I was betraying her once more, and yet again with one of her best friends, but it seemed as if I couldn't stop, neither of us could.

I was jolted from my reverie when I felt Haley's hand slip inside my boxers, gently grasping my member in her small, gentle hand. I groaned and thrust my hips forward a little as I slid my hands up under her gown and grabbed her hips in my hands, sliding them down, caressing her baby soft cheeks. She pushed down my pants and boxers and I stepped out of them as our lips met, crashing together forcefully as the passion began to overtake us. I cupped her cheeks in my hands as I lifted her against me, to which she wrapped her legs around my torso. I carried her to the bed and sat down on the edge as she straddled my waist. I slowly grabbed the hem of her nightgown and pulled it up over her head, tossing it to the floor. I smiled as I gazed down at her beautiful body. She always went bare with a thin sheath to cover her whenever we had these little meetings; less clothing to take off meant less time so we could avoid being caught. I brought my hands up to caress her breasts, rubbing my thumbs over her nipples before taking one in my mouth. I lightly suckled it and she moaned in pleasure. Her breaths were becoming quick and shallow as she mumbled, "Oh god…" a couple times while I lavished her breasts with my tongue. She began to stroke my shaft again, lightly running her fingernails up and down as my breath hitched in my throat, becoming more ragged with the pleasure rising inside me.

I kissed her again as I carefully stood with her in my arms, turning around and laying her gently on the bed. "Do you have one," she asked breathlessly, her chest heaving with each breath she let in and out. I looked around and found my pants, quickly walking over and pulling out my wallet, searching for the small square I usually kept there for our special meetings. I looked up at her and shook my head no. I was out. I had forgotten to replace the one I had used last time with a new one. Haley reached over and pulled out a drawer of the nightstands on one side of the bed and pulled out a box, smiling as she handed me one, "Nathan won't miss one." As she put the box away, I started to open the small square, but like always, she snatched it from my hands and ripped it open with her teeth. She pulled out the rubber sheath and slowly rolled it onto my shaft, placing a light kiss on the head after it was fully on.

By now, I was near ready to burst right then and there. "Hales…I need you now…" I whispered hoarsely. She smiled as she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me down with her as she laid back on the bed. Her lips met mine and she sucked on my lower lip for a few seconds before murmuring into my ear, "Make love to me Lucas." I didn't need to be told twice. I quickly entered her and began thrusting as she met me with equal force. Our bodies became one as they had so many times before and we melded together, the sweat sticking our skin, our eyes locked on each other as we moved to our own rhythm. Then suddenly a phone could be heard ringing in the room. We both froze.

_I've got somewhere else to be  
Promises to keep  
Someone else who loves me  
And trusts me fast asleep_

"Don't answer that," Haley mumbled as she began to move against me once more. I knew that ring; it was so distinct that it could only mean one person…Brooke. She was probably wondering where I was. "Luke…come on…I'm almost there…" Haley mumbled as she began to move faster, causing me to break from my thoughts of Brooke. I began to push again and soon we hit both of our peaks at the same time, both of us calling out each other's names as we climaxed together. After a few more minutes of slow thrusts, I finally collapsed on top of her then rolled off to the side, pulling out of her. I leaned over and kissed her forehead as she closed her eyes, knowing what was coming next. "I've gotta go," I said quietly as I stood from the bed, walking around the room as I gathered my clothes and put them on. We went back into our routine as we always did after we had sex. She handed me a plastic grocery bag and I put the used condom in it while she pulled the sheets from the bed and threw them in the washer, remaking the bed with a set of dark maroon silk sheets. I turned my head away from the sight, knowing what would happen later on that night. I shut my eyes tightly as I felt the tears well behind my eyes. I knew I shouldn't feel this way. I had a beautiful girlfriend waiting at home for me. One that was trusting me to be there for her and not betray her like I did last time. But here I was again. I stopped Haley from her cleaning and wrapped my arms around her waist, kissing her softly on the lips before releasing her, "I'll see you later." She nodded silently with a frown on her face and with that, I quietly left the apartment without another word.

_I've made up my mind  
There is no turning back  
She's been good to me  
And she deserves better than that _

"Where have you been," a voice asked angrily as Lucas entered the dark apartment. I jumped, startled, "Jesus Brooke! What are you doing sitting around in the dark?" "Waiting for you," she responded as she stood up and crossed her arms over her chest, "Where were you?" "I was at the shop. A guy came in last minute needing his fan belt and brake lines fixed by tomorrow morning so I stayed late to finish the job. I'm sorry I didn't call you," I took a few steps towards her and tentatively ran my hand up and down her arm. "I called you four times, Lucas, and you didn't even answer one of them," she spouted as she pulled away then looked up at me with tears and vulnerability shining from her eyes, "Is there something going on? Are-Are you cheating on me again?" "No Brooke, I'm not cheating on you," I flinched inwardly at the lie, "I was at the shop, you know how the machines are really loud in there. I love you Brooke." I stepped forward again and gently caressed her cheek and it appeared that my words seemed to reassure her for she leaned her cheek into my hand then took it and kissed my palm. "I'm sorry," she whispered, "for doubting you." I nodded silently in response as I wrapped my arms around her. She curled her arms around my waist and held me tight, her face buried in my chest. I could feel wetness starting to seep through my thin shirt that I wore and my heart broke for what I was doing to her. She had every right to doubt me after what I had done to her with Peyton, but she had decided to let me back into her heart, try to trust me once more. And here I was, doing it all over again, only with her other best friend.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **Hey guys! Here's the next chapter! I know its kind of short but I needed it to match with the lyrics and I thought it was a good stopping point. I would have posted it sooner but I was having internet problems for the past two days. I'm working on the next chapter but I am not sure when I will have it out. I have a major test coming up as well as a paper to write for English so that will be taking the majority of my time the next few days. Anyways, I hope you like this chapter! As always, please read and review!

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. One Tree Hill and its characters are property of the WB.

**Rating: **K+ to T

**The Hardest Thing **

**Chapter 2**

It's the hardest thing  
I'll ever have to do  
To look you in the eye  
And tell you I don't love you

"Back so soon," Haley smirked when she answered the door the next afternoon. I had decided last night as I lay wide awake in bed with Brooke curled up next to me, her head resting on my chest and her hand over my heart, that I couldn't do this to her anymore. I had to grow up, be a man. I had to stop what I was doing before everything came out and I would lose Brooke forever. I love Brooke, but Haley… We've known each other since we were toddlers and I have always loved her with all my heart but she is married to Nathan, my brother. I couldn't do this to him either. We had just started being friends only a few short months ago and were making our way towards becoming brothers. Everything just felt so wrong. I needed to fix everything before my life, my whole world, fell apart.

"We need to talk," I said gruffly, trying to steel myself from succumbing to Haley's seductive charms. Nobody would ever believe me if I told them that sweet, innocent Haley James, now Scott, was a sexy little vixen and could put one over on almost any guy, especially me. I was her guinea pig, helpless but to obey her. "Okay…" she replied uncertainly as she opened the door wider to let me in. "Nathan home," I asked, looking around the apartment. "No," she said, shutting the door and crossing her arms over her chest, "What did you want to talk about?" I decided to lay it out on the line right there where we stood. I wasn't going to sit her down and gently break it to her. I knew if I did, she would try to hug and kiss me, try to make me reconsider, but my mind was made up. I couldn't keep living a lie; I couldn't keep doing this to Brooke.

"We can't do this anymore, Haley. _I _won't do this anymore. What we're doing is wrong, Haley. You're married to Nathan and I'm dating Brooke. This all should have never happened. We're with different people. We're betraying them by doing what we are doing, _were_ doing. I promised myself I would never hurt Brooke again by cheating on her but I did just that. So I'm stopping this now. I'm not going to hurt her again. And you shouldn't hurt Nathan by doing this to him either. He's your husband, Hales, your _husband_. This isn't going to happen anymore. I'm not going to be that guy."

_It's the hardest thing  
I'll ever have to lie  
To show no emotion  
When you start to cry _

By now, Haley's chin and lower lip were trembling as tears fell down her cheeks. "B-But I thought you l-loved me…" It took all my willpower not to take her in my arms and tell her over and over again that I loved her with all my heart, more than any other person, more than Brooke. "I don't," I replied coldly, trying to block all emotion and feeling I had for her out of my mind, "Not in that way. We're just friends, remember? Friends with benefits, but now that's over. I don't think we should see each other for awhile, let things cool off." "Y-You don't mean that…" Haley sobbed as she walked towards me and wrapped her arms around my neck, standing on her tiptoes and kissing me on the lips. My resolve nearly broke at her soft, wet lips on mine…almost. I pushed her away, screaming in anger, "Dammit Haley! We can't do this anymore!"

_I can't let you see  
What you mean to me  
When my hands are tied  
And my hearts not free  
We're not meant to be _

"Look me in the eye, Lucas, and tell me you don't love me," she whispered, her voice cracking on the words. I desperately wanted to tell her that I did love her, but it would only make this worse and harder to do. I focused on her forehead, knowing I wouldn't be able to look into her beautiful, sorrow-filled brown doe eyes and do what she was asking me to do. "I don't love you," I said softly with a hint of weakness, yet said firmly so she wouldn't detect it. Tears began to fall down her cheeks like waterfalls as she crossed her arms over her chest again and turned around, hanging her head. "Go," she choked on a sob, "Go! Get out!" I stood there for a moment, a pained expression on my face for hurting the girl I so dearly loved. Then I turned around and walked out the door.

_It's the hardest thing  
I'll ever had to do  
To turn around and walk away  
Pretending I don't love you _


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: **Hey guys! I'm back with another chapter! Sorry it's so uber-short but I was really having trouble with the chapter and I wanted to include some of the others' POVs besides Lucas'. College homework is killing me, ah! Anyways, I hope you all like it! As always, please read and review!

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. One Tree Hill and its characters are property of the WB.

**Rating: **K+ to T

**The Hardest Thing **

**Chapter 3 **

Haley's POV

I let out a long tortuous scream, a mix of anger and sadness, as I threw a glass vase at the door Lucas had exited from minutes before. He couldn't have meant what he said. He did love me; I knew he loved me, he just had to. My knees began to go weak as I collapsed to the floor, still sobbing. The man I truly loved had just walked out of my life. Sure, I loved Nathan but Lucas was my true love, my soul mate. We'd been best friends for as long as I can remember. Why couldn't we have gotten together before all this? Before Nathan, before Peyton and Brooke? Then we wouldn't be going through this right now, caught up in this mess. We would be together without any strings or attachments. Why, oh why, couldn't we have realized our feelings earlier?

Nathan's POV

I twisted the key in the lock and opened the door to the apartment, finding broken glass at my feet and Haley curled up, crying on the floor only a few feet away. Quickly, I bent down on one knee by her side, gently touching her back then moving some hair out of her face. "Hales, what's wrong? Why are you crying, baby," I asked worriedly. She sucked in a deep breath and shook her head, wiping some of her tears away and slowly standing up then running to the bedroom, shutting the door behind her. I sighed. She'd been kind of distant lately and it bothered me that she wouldn't talk to me. I'm her husband for god sakes, she can come to me for anything, yet she won't. I ran a hand through my hair, letting out a huff of frustration. Where did things change between us?

Brooke's POV

"Hey Broody," I smiled when he entered the kitchen, walking over to him and kissing him passionately on the mouth, running my hands over his stomach and toned 6-pack. I could feel his kiss back wasn't as enthusiastic as it usually was. He was kissing merely to kiss, with really no feeling to it. "Hard day at work," I asked, rubbing his back. He sighed, running a hand over his head then his eyes, "Yeah, it's been a long day. I think I'm going to go to bed early tonight; I'm really tired. I'll see you in the morning Brooke." He kissed me goodnight on the cheek then retreated to the bedroom, shutting the door behind him. I furrowed my brows. He usually kept the door open at night. I turned back to the counter, sighing as I stared at the food I had cut up and prepared for dinner. I took the cutting board and dumped food in the trash. So much for a romantic night in.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: **Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry for the wait. I'm like, what, the first update on this board in like two days! Update your stories people! Anyways, I'm working on the next chapter as we speak and I hope you like this one! As always, please read and review!

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. One Tree Hill and its characters are property of the WB.

**Rating: **K+ to T

P.S. – I'm sure you've all heard about Chad and Sophia by now…freaking pisses me off…mumbles and grumbles The show's going down in flames…oh wait, it already did that in the season finale. LOL

**The Hardest Thing **

**Chapter 4 **

Haley's POV

The alarm clock went off and for the first time in three days, I decided to actually get up and go to school. I really didn't want to but I had already missed so much from being on the tour and I had to keep my grades up if I wanted to keep on tutoring and most important of all, graduate high school.

"Hey, where are you going," Nathan mumbled as I sat up and moved to the edge of the bed. His arm snaked around my waist and pulled me back towards him. I clutched the sheets to my bare body, trying to cover myself. I don't know why I did this for it was obvious we'd had intimate relations before. We're married for god sakes. I guess it is because I feel a little self-conscious and inadequate now. I thought Lucas loved me but it turns out that he only wanted my body. Tears welled behind my eyes and I fought not to let them go.

"It's time to get up. We have to get ready for school. I'm going to go take a shower," I responded as I stood up, pulling the sheets with me towards the bathroom. I closed my eyes as I let the warm water run over my head and down my back, the tears falling from my eyes blending in with it. I ran my hands through my hair and suddenly I felt two arms wrap around my waist, his hot mouth on my neck. Shivers jolted down my spine. I quickly spun around, angry that he thought he could just come in whenever he wanted. I pushed him in the chest, "Nathan, what are you doing in here? Get out!" Nathan looked at me confusedly, fire burning in his eyes, "What the hell is wrong with you Hales? Why are you being such a bitch?" I slapped him hard across the cheek, "Get the hell out!"

Lucas' POV

"Good morning handsome," Brooke's raspy voice penetrated my mind, bringing me from my dream of Haley. As I opened my eyes, squinting in the brightness of the sun shining through my window, she kissed me softly on the lips. "Morning Brooke," I replied, turning over and closing my eyes again, trying to get back to my dream about Haley and I. "Still tired," she asked as she rubbed her hand on my shoulder. "Yes," I grumbled as I lightly shrugged her hand off, "now go back to sleep." "I guess we can stay in bed a little bit longer," I heard her say in a seductive tone as she curled her arm around my torso and snuck her hand under the sheets, rubbing her hand over the front of my boxers. I quickly pulled away from her, getting out of the bed. "God Brooke, will you stop? I don't want to have sex with you right now," I yelled then turned and headed towards the bathroom, "We need to get dressed for school."

Nathan's POV

I walked into the kitchen as I dried my wet hair with a towel, finding Haley at the island counter, eating a pint of her favorite Ben and Jerry's Cookie Dough ice cream. If the slap she had given me had been any indication, I knew she was more than upset now with her drowning her sorrows in ice cream at seven in the morning. I walked up behind her and tentatively rubbed my hands over her shoulders. "I'm sorry Hales. I didn't mean to blow up at you like that…It's just-I hardly ever see you anymore and you don't talk to me. By the time I come home from work or practice, you're in bed or you come home from Peyton's and then you go to sleep. When was the last time we had a real, deep conversation Hales? You hardly even let me touch you anymore and since when do you not want to have sex-" "Marriage isn't all about sex, Nathan," Haley replied coldly as she pulled away and put the ice cream back in the freezer.

"I know it's not," I replied, "but when was the last time we made love? A hell of a long time ago, Hales." "We had sex the night before last Nathan," Haley retorted. "The keyword being sex, Haley. We haven't made love in months. Lately is always been just a quick fuck then you roll over and go to sleep. You don't let me hold you in my arms or talk to me like we used to. Do you even love me anymore? Because lately it seems that you don't. You're distant and closed off; it's like you don't want to be around me," I said, sadness filling my heart again at my own words. Tears started to stream down her cheeks, her chin and lower lip trembling, then she buried her face in her hands. "I'm sorry…" she sobbed. I inwardly groaned; I always hated seeing her so upset. I walked over and tentatively wrapped my arms around her, "Hales, please don't cry. You know I hate seeing you cry." I cupped her cheek in my hand and wiped a few tears away with my thumb, kissing the top of her head. She looked up at me with her watery eyes, searching, for what I didn't know. Then she stood on her tiptoes and kissed me, a deep kiss filled with passion that had long been absent between us. __


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** Hey guys! I'm back with another chapter! I know, it's uber-short, but I wanted to get an update out for you all this weekend since I'm not sure when the next time I will be able to post, depending on my schedule which is pretty hectic this week. I hope you guys like it! As always, please read and review!

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. One Tree Hill and it's characters are property of the WB.

**Rating:** K+ to T

**The Hardest Thing**

**Chapter 5 **

Peyton's POV

Another drawing of Jake and Jenny. I sighed as I leaned back in my desk chair, twiddling the pen with my fingers while I stared at the picture I had created, tears welling within my eyes. I missed him so much, and Jenny too. I thought of her as my daughter and it hurt that she had to go through this at such a young age, moving all the time and hiding just to be safe from her real mother. It hurt that I couldn't see her and I was worried sick with Jenny out there somewhere with Nicki. I hope Jake found her soon so he could come back home, come back to me.

I heard a light knock on my bedroom door then a soft thud as I turned around to see Brooke flopping onto my bed. She was lying on her back staring up at the ceiling with her eyes and cheeks wet too. "What's wrong Brooke? Why are you crying," I asked concernedly. "Why are you crying, P. Sawyer," she returned in a weak voice that didn't resemble her usual confidence. I stared at the picture again before responding, "I miss Jake so much…I love him, you know? It's hard to breathe when I'm near him; I get butterflies in my stomach. I hate it when we're apart because when we are, I want to be with him. And Jenny…she's too young to have to go through this. I hope Jake finds Jenny soon so he can come home." Brooke turned on her side, propping her head up with her hand, "Aww Peyton, come here." She opened her arms for me to enter but I just shook my hands, "No, I don't want to feel sad anymore and if we hug, it'll just start the waterworks again. So what's going on with you? Why are you crying B. Davis?"

She sniffled as she turned on her back, staring up at the ceiling again, "I-I don't think Lucas loves me anymore… We hardly spend time with each other anymore and he's always working late at the shop. We haven't had sex in weeks, which isn't normal for us and lately he's been so distant…" "Brooke..." I said softly as I stood from my chair and crawled onto the bed beside her, rubbing her back to comfort her, "Lucas loves you. If he didn't, he wouldn't have gone through all the trouble of just staying friends with you to be in your life. He wouldn't have tried his hardest to get you back. He loves you so much Brooke. He's probably just worn out from working all the time and going to school, it's got to be taking a toll on him. All work and no play makes Lucas a dull boy." "Yeah…" she sniffled again. I rubbed her shoulder sympathetically and stroked her hair, "It'll get better sweetie."


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: **Hey guys! I am SO, SO sorry for taking so long to get this chapter out! I have been really busy with college and everything. For English we have to write an essay like every WEEK! It's brutal, I tell you! On that note, I should be writing my paper, but I didn't feel like it right now so I decided to finally sit myself down and focus on getting this chapter out to you. I haven't decided what's going to happen in the next chapter yet so I don't know when it's going to be out. I'll try not to take as long as this time. Anyways, I hope you like this chapter! As always, please read and review!

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. One Tree Hill and its characters are property of the WB.

**Rating: **K+ to T

**The Hardest Thing **

**Chapter 6**

Peyton's POV

Over the past few days I had noticed that Haley and Lucas had been avoiding each other, which was something that rarely happened. So, under the cover that I needed help with my English assignment, I had invited her over to my house to have a little chat with her. She was currently painting her toenails while I pretended to be struggling with how to write the paper we had been assigned to do. "Let's take a break. My head hurts from all this information you crammed into it," I audibly sighed as I set the notebook and pencil aside and told her, "I'll be right back; I'm going to go get something to drink. Do you want anything?" "Water's fine," Haley responded, not looking up at me for she was focused on making sure she didn't mess up the nail polish on her big toe. I went to the kitchen to grab a soda for me and a bottle of water for Haley then returned to my room where I reclined back on the pillows.

"How have you been? We haven't talked in awhile," I asked her, subtly trying to approach the subject. "Fine," she responded, obviously preoccupied with something else on her mind. "How are things with Nathan," I inquired. "We're great," Haley replied, inspecting her foot and deciding that she needed another coat of polish on some of her toes. "What about you and Lucas? I haven't seen you two hanging out much lately," I replied as I took a sip of my soda. Haley rolled her eyes as she closed up the polish and sighed, "I was wondering how long it was going to take you to bring that up." I gazed at her confusedly for a moment then she replied nonchalantly as she inspected her fingers, "I could tell something was bothering you." I had forgotten how good Haley was at reading people. "So, what's up with you two," I patted her leg to get her attention away from picking at her newly painted fingernails.

Haley dropped her hands into her lap with a heavy sigh as she stared down at them, tears welling in her eyes, "We had a fight…" "What? Why? What was it about," I asked concernedly. It was not very often that Haley and Lucas, best friends forever, had a fight. Haley sniffled as she tried furiously to wipe the tears from her face. She wouldn't cry over him; as she'd done so many nights the past week. "I-It was about the amount of time we were spending with each other…We had a difference of opinions…I thought we were seeing too little of each other and he thought we were seeing each other too much…We hardly see each other at all and he says he wants to see less of me? It hurts Peyton. I've lost my best friend…" Haley sobbed as she thought, _'and the man I love…' _I gazed at her sympathetically, tears welling within my own eyes as I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tight.

Later that day, I took a walk down to the rivercourt, intent on giving Lucas a piece of my mind about Haley. There he was, dribbling and shooting the orange ball into the hoop like always. Although he usually made basket after basket with ease, now he missed shots consecutively and they seemed to get even worse with every try. "Hey," I called out to him as I walked onto the court. At first, Lucas thought it was Haley by the sound of the girl's voice but when he turned around, he saw that it was Peyton. "Oh, hey Peyton," Lucas replied as he began to bounce the ball again, aiming for the hoop, "what's up?" "Oh, nothing much. Nice day out, thought I'd take a walk. Maybe have a little chat," I responded, stuffing my hands in the front pockets of my jeans. "Something on your mind," he inquired with a raised eyebrow.

"I heard about the fight between you and Haley…" I replied, sliding my hands into the pockets of my jeans. Lucas' eyes widened as he turned to face me after picking up his basketball, "H-Haley told you…about our fight?" "Yeah…" I trailed off then looked at him confusedly, a stern tone to my voice, "Why in the hell would you tell her that you two are spending too much time together? You hardly see each other at all! Do you know how much it hurt her when you told her that you wanted to see less of her? I had to hold her in my arms for over an hour while she cried her heart out. You're losing her, Luke, and I can't understand for the life of me why you would tell her that. She's your best friend Lucas."

Lucas was somewhat relieved that Peyton did not know what had gone on between himself and Haley and he took a deep breath, "Haley told you that? I miss her too, Peyton. I know we hardly see each other, and it hurts me too. We hardly have time to hang out together. I go to school then work at the shop and it's late by the time I get home and I'm just so tired that I just crash. Haley has school, tutoring, the café, Nathan. We've both been so busy that we haven't had any time to spend together. All of it just got to us and we had a fight…" "You need to talk to her, Luke," I said firmly as I crossed my arms over my chest. He ran a hand through his hair with a sigh, "I know. I will." "Tomorrow," I ordered before walking off the court to head back home. I hated seeing two of my friends fighting and would do anything to fix things between them.

Lucas' POV

I dragged my feet as I slowly walked across campus from the parking lot to the school building. I didn't really want to be here today but I had already missed two days of school this week alone. I went to my locker to retrieve the books I would need for my first two classes and put in the ones I wouldn't need until later then pulled out my gym bag for our early morning practice today. Whitey had said the team was lagging a little bit and needed to practice some new plays and strategies for the game coming up next week. I groaned to myself as I thought of it. I knew what that meant; suicides and weight lifting until they dropped. I would be so dead tired by the end of the day that the moment my head hit the pillow I would be out until the next morning and possibly then some. Good thing it was a Friday so I would be able to sleep late tomorrow.

Suddenly I felt a chill run down my spine like a cold hand gripping your neck and I turned to see Haley walking with Nathan down the hall. She looked so beautiful despite the obvious bags under her red-rimmed eyes and her pale complexion. It hurt me so much that I had caused her so much pain and suffering. I wish I could tell her that I did love her with all my heart, make everything okay, but I couldn't. Our lives were too complicated; I was dating Brooke and Haley was married to Nathan. Maybe if we had realized our feelings for each other sooner and gotten together even before Nathan, Brooke, and Peyton came into the picture, we wouldn't be in this mess. We would have been happy. I gazed at her for a few more moments when I saw that she had spotted me and her eyes locked onto mine.

_I know that we'll meet again  
Fate has a place and time  
So you can get on with your life_

Haley's POV

As I walked down the hallway with Nathan's arm around my shoulders and mine around his waist, I glanced around and saw Lucas at his locker, staring at me. My eyes stared into his deep dark blue ones until I couldn't take it anymore. I turned my head away as a few tears slipped down my cheeks as I buried my face in Nathan's chest and leaned in closer to my husband, savoring strong arm around me, holding me up, for I knew I would fall if it were not supporting me. We walked past him and from Nathan's chest, I peeked from the corner of my eye at him and for a moment he seemed hurt but his expression immediately changed, to what I am not sure. I used to be able to read him so well, now not so much anymore, maybe not even at all if I was really honest with myself. What had happened to us?

Lucas' POV

_Like Dr. Zhivago  
All my love I'll be sending  
And you will never know  
There can be no happy ending_

I looked on helplessly as I watched her walk away with her husband at her side, comforting her when I had been the one to cause her so much sadness. I opened my mouth to call out to her, but nothing came out. Instead, I mouthed a soundless "I love you" to her back as she continued to walk down the hall. I knew she wouldn't see it, but it made me feel a tiny bit better knowing that I had confessed it even though I had told her I didn't love her before. I hoped that she would sense it after the connection we'd had with each other since we were youngsters. I felt a presence beside me and saw Peyton stop beside me as she too looked at the two retreating figures. She turned to me with sort of a cross look on her face, "You know, talking to someone requires opening your mouth, but it also entails saying something."


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:** Hey guys! Yay! I didn't take as long a time for this update! I bet you're all happy! Anyways, this is a pretty long chapter, the longest I think, so that's good. Not much to say this time. School's been keeping me pretty busy and I have some family stuff going on but I found some time and inspiration to write. Well without further ado, I will let you read the next chapter of The Hardest Thing! I hope you like it! As always, please read and review!

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. One Tree Hill and its characters are property of the WB.

**Rating:** K+ to T

P.S. – OMG did you guys see the previews for Wednesday? Brooke and Haley in bed, is not so weird since they're roommates and I LOVE Baley but Chris and Lucas in bed together! WOWzers! It's gonna be one hell of an episode this week!

**The Hardest Thing**

**Chapter 7**

Lucas' POV

It's been a week since I last saw her in the hallway and we haven't said a word to each other since the day I told her I didn't love her. It was my biggest regret, not telling her, but as much as I didn't want to, I had to do it for the sake of my relationship with Brooke because if she ever found out about Haley and I, I'd be castrated and buried alive. I sighed heavily as I stared at the computer screen, pictures of Haley opened everywhere. I placed my elbow on the desk and leaned my head on it, gazing mesmerized into her beautiful brown doe eyes. I traced the lines of her face with an index finger and slowly dragged my finger across her lips, trying to remember how soft they felt against mine. God, how I missed her kisses.

I was brought out of my thoughts by two knocks on the door before Nathan entered with Tim following behind him. Immediately I closed the pictures and shut off the computer monitor. "Hey Luke," Nathan greeted then asked suspiciously with a grin on his face, "What were you looking at? Porn?" I shook my head no. "Just naked pictures of Brooke. Nothing you want to see. You've already seen her naked anyway, you two grew up together. Didn't your mom used to give you two baths together," I gave him a sort of half-smile. "Well, she wasn't developed then," Nathan grinned. "Brooke naked," Tim asked as a excited expression formed on his face, "let me see! I wanna see that fine piece of ass! She's hot!" "Dude, Dim, that's my girlfriend you're talking about," I replied then turned to my brother, "and Nate, you're married!" Nathan just smirked, "What can I say, the guy has a point. Brooke is hot. Besides, I can look but not touch." "Not when they're naked," I exclaimed.

"Come on guys, I thought we were gonna play some ball," Tim said as he squeezed the ball between his hands. I raised my eyebrow at Nathan and he responded, "We came over to ask you if you wanted to go down to the rivercourt with us and play some basketball. We thought maybe some of your guys will be down there so we could do teams." I sighed and ran a hand through my hair as I sat on the couch, "Nah, you guys go by yourselves. I don't really feel like playing basketball right now." Both Tim and Nathan looked at him incredulously. "You, not want to play basketball," Nathan asked, shocked. "How can you not want to play basketball? Basketball is like- the bestest sport ever! Well, besides football. I wanted to play football before but my mom said something about being crushed in the head or whatever. I wasn't really listening," Tim responded. "Dropped on the head more than a few times is more like it," Nathan coughed with a smile.

"Come on man, let's play some ball," Tim exclaimed, "The old ball and chain finally let Nate out to play for awhile. Gotta get your time in with him while you can before his old lady beckons him again. I hate to say it Nate, but you're whipped," Tim smiled widely. Nathan punched him in the shoulder while I slapped him in the back of the head. "Ow," Tim shrieked. "First of all, her name is Haley. Second, she's my wife and I would do anything for her, no matter if she ordered me to or not," Nathan explained. "Don't ever talk about Haley like that, Tim," I said with a growl.

"Speaking of Haley," Nathan spoke up as he turned to me, "you need to clear up this fight with her man, she's miserable. She won't even let me mention your name in her presence or in the apartment. The fight must have been pretty bad for that to happen." "Yeah…" I turned my head away and looked down, shoving my hands into the pockets of my jeans, "listen guys, thanks for inviting me but I think I'm going to hang around here. Brooke's supposed to call in a couple hours and I want to be here when she does," I said to them. "Oh that's right, Brooke's in California visiting her parents. When's she coming back," Nathan asked. "She'll be back sometime next week," I replied. "Alright man, we'll catch you later," Nathan patted me on the back then started to walk towards the door, "Come on Tim."

Once they left, I sighed and sank back down onto the couch, rubbing my hands over my face. I couldn't keep doing this. I couldn't handle this, keeping up this façade that everything was all hunky dory. The truth was, my life was falling apart and I didn't know how to stop it, and I didn't know if I could. I didn't know how much longer I could restrain myself from just grabbing Haley right in the hallway at school and kissing her with all the passion I had for her. I didn't know how much longer I could keep on this mask with Nathan, pretending that we were okay and that I didn't have any feelings whatsoever for his wife, my best friend. I felt as if I was about to lose it. If I didn't get out of this town soon, I'd go crazy. If I didn't, then I might say something, something I'd regret, and all hell would break loose.

I decided to take a little road trip for awhile. Two weeks ago, Keith had called me up from out of nowhere after not hearing from him since the wedding when Jules left him. Needless to say, I was surprised at his call, and grateful; I had worried about him greatly. We had talked for a long while and he had apologized, which surprised me even more since I was at fault; I was the one who had lied to him, deceived him. He then invited me down to visit him but at the time I couldn't because I had some exams at school but he said that whenever I wanted to come, he would have a place for me. I thanked him and told him I missed him then we hung up. I figured now was as good a time as any for me to take him up on his offer. I needed to clear my head and this would provide the perfect opportunity without Haley, Brooke, or Nathan around to make me feel guilty or Peyton to pester me into fixing things with Haley.

I didn't know how long I'd be staying, but I figured packing for two weeks would be enough so I pulled out my large suitcase and started putting clothes in. I wasn't much of a neat packer; that was more Brooke's style than mine. Once I was done tossing clothes in, I added in my bag of essential grooming tools and dental products then began to pack in other entertainment necessities such as my CDs, CD player and Ipod, portable DVD player, DVD movies, and some books. Once I was done packing, I sat down at the computer and went online to order my ticket for the trip. With everything else squared away, I did the last thing I had to do, one I dreaded and felt relieved at the same time. I had to write letters saying goodbye to Brooke and Haley.

The next morning, I rose early so I could leave Haley's note without being seen. I jogged to hers and Nathan's apartment, my breaths heavy and labored because of the nervousness boiling inside me. I couldn't let Haley see me and if Nathan ever read the letter I had written her, well I didn't want to think about the repercussions of that. I walked quietly up the stairs, avoiding the creaking steps, until I finally reached the door. I slipped the envelope with Haley's name on it into the handle of the door. I held onto it tightly for a moment, rethinking leaving it there, before I finally let go. I stared at the door for several minutes and lifted my hand to gently touch the door with my fingers. "Bye Hales," I whispered softly then quickly turned and rushed down the stairs, taking off down the sidewalk.

When I arrived back home, I placed Brooke's letter on the kitchen table then picked up the phone to call for a ride. After Peyton arrived, I loaded my bags into the trunk of her car while she leaned against the side, her arms crossed. "You're a coward, you know," Peyton finally spoke up, "Running from your problems. What I don't understand though, is why you're running. I mean, it was just a petty little fight between you and Haley, Luke. Why can you just say you're sorry, admit that you were an idiot, and be friends again? Why does such a little fight have to break up a friendship you two have shared for almost sixteen years?" "It's more complicated than that, Peyton," I replied quietly as I opened the door and sat in the passenger seat, "come on, let's go. I don't want to be late for my flight."

When Peyton parked in the drop off area of the airport, she turned to and stared hard at me for several seconds, as if she were trying to look into my soul. "You really love her, don't you," she asked softly. I nodded my head as I kept my eyes focused down on my hands in my lap, "Yeah, but she loves Nathan." Peyton rubbed my back sympathetically, "I'm sorry." I nodded my head again silently. "She's happy, Luke," Peyton said, "Brooke's happy. Don't try to mess things up again." _Too late_, I thought. "See you later Peyt. Thanks for the ride," I responded as I got out of the car and grabbed my suitcase and duffel bag. "Bye Luke," Peyton replied as I started to walk away. I turned and gave her a slight wave, a grim smile on my face.

Fortunately, I didn't have to wait long for my flight to arrive. I passed the time by getting a cup of coffee from the nearby Starbucks and making a trip to the bathroom. I'd always hated those small bathrooms that you could hardly move around in. When the plane arrived, I was one of the last people to board since I had purchased my ticket on such short notice. There wasn't many people on the flight though, since it was Tree Hill after all, so there was a lot of room to spread out if need be. I settled down in my window seat and took all the necessary precautions; buckled my seat belt, made sure the air mask was nearby and functioning. I never liked flying but for this trip a train would take forever to get to my destination.

I pulled out my CD player and put in a CD Haley had made me awhile back. I don't think I had ever listened to it as I didn't recognize the cover on it or the titles of the songs she had listed on the piece of paper she had enclosed with it. I hope she didn't put some sappy love songs on here. I couldn't handle that right now. I pressed play and looked out the window as the plane began to take off, staring down at the decreasing size of the town as we lifted into the air. As the first tunes of the song began to play, I sighed. Yep, a sappy love song, just as I predicted. It was going to be a long flight. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, listening to the words of the song. Next stop, California.

Haley's POV

I slowly woke to the bright sun shining in my face and I turned to glance at the clock, trying not to disturb Nathan lightly snoring away next to me. _Lucas never snores_, I said to myself then instantly began to yell in my mind, _Don't think about Lucas! You're married! You know, Nathan, your husband?_ I feel so guilty for what I have done to Nathan, cheating on him with Lucas, his brother no less. But Lucas, he's been my best friend for nearly sixteen years and I have loved him for so long…I can't help but wonder what could have been. What if I had never married Nathan? What if I had never even dated Nathan? Would Lucas and I have gotten together sooner? At all? Would we be married? A thousand questions and more ran rampant through my mind as I quietly climbed out of the bed and slipped on a robe before walking to the door to retrieve the morning newspaper.

As I opened the door, something fell to the floor and I bent down to pick it up, slowly rising to my feet as I read my name across the sealed envelope. It was Lucas' handwriting. My breath caught in my throat as I realized this. I closed the door, forgetting the newspaper, and walked over to the couch, curling my feet under me as I sat down on it. I carefully ripped open the envelope and pulled out the piece of paper inside. My eyes scanned the paper quickly, for there was not much written, and they immediately filled with tears.

_Haley,_

I love you. You are my best friend and always will be. I just wish we could have had our time. Goodbye.

Lucas

I laid down on the couch as the sobs began to overtake my body and I used the remote to turn on the stereo. I selected a station with songs that mirrored my mood, songs of heartbreak and lost loves and sappy old love songs I used to like before I got her heart broken by a man I truly cared about, truly loved. The song started out soft and slow as I closed my eyes and remembered the song, one I had recorded on a CD for Lucas so long ago. At the time I had thought it would help voice my feelings for him and I guess he didn't get the message. I wondered what made him really realize his feelings for me as I choked on another sob and clutched the letter close to my chest. I heard a quiet thud of footsteps and Nathan's sleepy voice, "Hales?" I quickly hid the letter in my robe as he approached. He saw my tears and sat down beside me on the couch, brushing away a few of them from my cheek, "What's wrong?" I looked up at him as more tears fell from my eyes, "He's gone...Lucas is gone…He didn't even say goodbye…" Nathan wrapped his arms around me and I continued to cry on his shoulder as the words of the song ran through my mind…

_Have you ever loved somebody so much  
It makes you cry  
Have you ever needed something so bad  
You can't sleep at night  
Have you ever tried to find the words  
But they don't come out right  
Have you ever, have you ever_

Have you ever been in love  
Been in love so bad  
You'd do anything to make them understand  
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away  
You'd give anything uh to make them feel the same  
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart  
But you don't know what to say  
And you don't know where to start

Have you ever loved somebody so much  
It makes you cry  
Have you ever needed something so bad  
You can't sleep at night  
Have you ever tried to find the words  
But they don't come out right  
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever found the one  
You've dreamed of all your life  
Do just about anything to look into their eyes  
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to you  
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you  
Have you ever closed your eyes and  
Dreamed that they were there  
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care

Have you ever loved somebody so much  
It makes you cry  
Have you ever needed something so bad  
You can't sleep at night  
Have you ever tried to find the words  
But they don't come out right  
Have you ever, have you ever

What do I gotta do to get to you in my arms baby  
What do I gotta say to get to your heart  
To make you understand how I need you next to me  
Gotta get you in my world  
Cuz baby I can't sleep

Have you ever loved somebody so much  
It makes you cry  
Have you ever needed something so bad  
You can't sleep at night (breaks you from inside)  
Have you ever tried to find the words  
But they don't come out right  
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever loved somebody so much  
It makes you cry  
Have you ever needed something so bad  
You can't sleep at night (so bad you just can't sleep at night)  
Have you ever tried to find the words  
But they don't come out right  
Have you ever, have you ever  
Have you ever?

Song: "Have You Ever?" by Brandy


End file.
